#TrumpFiresFed #BattleoftheBank #LisaCook #SatireNews #YoureFiredAgain
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**Trump Claims He’s Fired Fed Governor Lisa Cook, Central Bank Wonders Who Gave Him the Office Keys**
In a surprising turn of events that only surprises those who haven’t paid attention for the last eight years, former President Donald Trump announced today that he has “fired” Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook, adding yet another chapter to his ongoing feud with the central bank and reality itself.
At a hastily organized press conference in the lobby of a golf resort, Trump waved a manila folder labeled “Top Secret Firing Papers” and declared, “I just told Lisa Cook, she’s FIRED. The Fed needs a real businessman, not someone who does math. Tremendous firing. Maybe the best firing. People are saying it.”
Financial experts immediately questioned the move, noting that Trump is neither president nor legally entitled to play ‘The Apprentice: Bureaucracy Edition’ with federal officials. White House legal counsel reportedly asked Trump how he even got a working Fed badge. Trump responded by tweeting, “I have all the badges. Nobody has more badges than me. I’m basically like Batman but for the economy.”
When reached for comment, a bewildered Lisa Cook said, “I’m pretty sure I still have a job.” The Federal Reserve issued a statement clarifying, “The Federal Reserve Board does not recognize the authority of Mar-a-Lago HR. Please direct all personnel questions to the Oval Office or possibly your nearest country club.”
Meanwhile, central bank insiders report that Jerome Powell is barricading himself in an office with twelve calculators and a giant gold padlock, just in case Trump’s next move is to fire inflation.
Political analysts say this event represents a “historic escalation” in Trump’s war against pocket change, monetary policy, and the concept of organizational flowcharts.
As for Lisa Cook, she’s considering updating her LinkedIn to include being “fired by an ex-president,” hoping it adds a nice touch of absurdity to her resume.
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
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