#ArgentinianPolitics #PoliticalRockstars #MileiVsGravity #DemocracyWithPebbles #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
**Argentinian President Javier Milei Leaves Rally After Protesters Throw Rocks, Unveils New Olympic Sport**
In what political experts now call “Granitegate,” Argentinian President Javier Milei made headlines yesterday after leaving his own rally following a barrage of rocks flung by disgruntled protesters. Eyewitnesses say the President exited the stage at record speed, narrowly missing both projectiles and the opportunity to launch his highly anticipated proposal to replace Congress with a pack of economic textbooks.
The event, held in Buenos Aires’ famous Plaza de la Pebble (formerly Plaza de Mayo), started peacefully. However, tensions rapidly escalated after Milei announced his plan to privatize all rocks in Argentina as part of the country’s ongoing austerity measures. Protesters, in a show of fiscal creativity, began launching the soon-to-be-priceless minerals straight at the stage, inadvertently participating in the first-ever “Rock Market Crash.”
Government officials were quick to capitalize on the moment. The Minister of Defense announced an emergency auction of collector’s edition “Presidential Rally Rocks”—“slightly used, presidentially dodged, and carrying 0.5% more drama than your average gemstone.” Meanwhile, the Ministry of Sports didn’t miss a beat, promptly petitioning the International Olympic Committee to introduce Competitive Protest Rock Throwing as an official event in Paris 2024.
Milei himself was reportedly uninjured and later tweeted, “The only rocks I accept are the ones that form a solid economy!” In unrelated news, the President’s new security protocols now require all event attendees to wear mandatory oven mitts and undergo “pocket boulder pat-downs” by geology students.
As Argentinian politics continues to try out new methods of getting stoned, one thing remains certain: in the battle between Milei and gravity, gravity is currently polling ahead.
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
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