#Satire #CanadaNews #ConspiracyHumor #EducationTruth #GraveMistake
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
**Canada, 63% No Longer Believe in Mass Graves in Schools—Now Suspect It’s Just Where They Buried All the Homework**
OTTAWA – In a stunning reversal, recent polls reveal that 63% of Canadians now believe the “mass graves at schools” stories were just elaborate covers for a far more nefarious plot: Canada’s legendary missing assignments.
Experts are still unpacking the implications of the poll, which clearly indicates, for the first time in Canadian history, that more people distrust the previously documented tragedies than they do the curriculum’s ability to swallow up book reports forever.
“When my son said his homework disappeared, I just thought he was being lazy,” said Calgary parent Linda McPherson. “Now I know, somewhere beneath the gymnasium, a pile of untouched math worksheets is growing larger with every generation. It’s a national crisis!”
When reached for comment, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau offered a heartfelt apology for the confusion and announced a $20 million Truth and Reconciliation Committee on Algebraic Trauma. “We must investigate,” Trudeau declared from the steps of Parliament. “If we can’t find Jimmy’s 1987 science fair project, can we ever truly move forward?”
Skeptics argue the poll is merely the result of Canadians wanting to believe *something* other than bad news in 2024, while others insist it finally confirms the longstanding theory that the ‘lost and found’ is just a gateway to a dark underworld of misplaced essays and permission slips.
Meanwhile, school janitors across the country are reportedly bracing for an influx of amateur archaeologists, all armed with shovels and overdue library books.
As this story develops, one question remains: If the graves aren’t real, where *did* Timmy hide that frog he swore he’d bring back to class?
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
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