#TrumpTariffs #GlobalTradeOops #CourtroomComedy #LawAndOrderish #SadTariffs
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
**Trump’s Global Tariffs Are Officially Unlawful, Court Decides—Somewhere, a Trade War Sighs in Relief**
In a move that stunned absolutely no one except perhaps a few confused customs officials and a particularly patriotic bald eagle, a U.S. appeals court has officially declared that former President Trump’s global tariffs are, in legal terms, “totally unlawful, believe me.”
According to court sources, the historic verdict was delivered after four days of reviewing international law, tariff schedules, and several emotionally-charged tweets. “We tried to find a legal basis for these tariffs, but even the fine print was just a link to Trump’s merch store,” the panel stated in their ruling, which was reportedly printed on a napkin from the Mar-a-Lago brunch buffet.
Trade experts everywhere responded by collectively yelling, “No kidding!” at their television screens. Meanwhile, economists celebrated the decision by frantically reprinting charts that make slightly more sense now.
White House officials tried to placate worried citizens, ensuring them that America will continue its tradition of “winning at trade” by allowing foreign goods to enter the country once more—unless they’re pineapples, because someone still owes us an apology.
When reached for comment, Mr. Trump called the court “unlawful and failing” before announcing the launch of “Trump Tariffs: The Board Game,” where the only rule is you can’t win, but also you can’t lose, and everyone goes bankrupt anyway.
In response, a coalition of overtaxed steelworkers, bewildered duty clerks, and relieved consumers has begun preparations for “Tariff Freedom Day,” celebrated by buying affordable electronics and not blaming Canadians for everything.
As the trade war takes a nap, one thing’s for sure: economy textbooks everywhere can now add a new chapter titled, “Don’t Do That.”
By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: https://freecash.com/r/c97b0ab020579663572c
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