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By: TheJestPress.com
**Air India’s Latest Crash Attributed to “Highly Effective” Fuel-Saving Strategy, Report Finds**
In a bold move designed to save both fuel and headlines, an Air India flight allegedly treated its airplane like a Prius hybrid last week, switching off fuel midair, according to a preliminary report released today quicker than lost luggage.
The report states that “fuel switches were cut off before the crash,” apparently after the pilot, inspired by rising fuel costs and ‘Go Green’ initiatives, believed the airplane could glide the rest of the 1,200-mile trip on good vibes and leftover peanuts.
Eyewitnesses say the cockpit crew had been reading up on fuel-efficient driving tips from their favorite ride-sharing apps moments ahead of the fateful incident. “It always says, ‘For optimal fuel economy, turn off your engine at long red lights!’” the co-pilot was reportedly heard mumbling into the intercom, right before gravity contradicted the advice.
A spokesperson for Air India clarified, “We take fuel efficiency very seriously—perhaps a bit too seriously in this case. We’d like to remind our staff that unlike budget scooters, our aircraft cannot be propelled by hope and light snacks.”
In the aftermath, Air India has announced mandatory retraining sessions entitled, “Planes Aren’t Gliders: An Introduction to Aviation Basics,” led by someone who once flew a paper airplane.
Passenger reactions were mixed, with some posting that the in-flight experience was “crash course immersive,” while others simply appreciated landing closer to their spiritual side.
Meanwhile, climate activists applauded Air India for dramatically reducing carbon emissions—if only for a few seconds—though they admitted the method was “maybe a tad extreme.”
As the investigation continues, the airline industry is on high alert, reminding crews: if you must cut something before takeoff, let it be your Wi-Fi connection, not your fuel.
By: TheJestPress.com
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