#DentistOnTrial #KillerSmile #ShakyAlibi #CrimeAndIncisors #ToothHurts
By: TheJestPress.com
In what local news has dubbed “The Case of the Pulp Fiction Potion,” Dr. Gavin Plaque, DDS, has officially traded his white dentist’s coat for an orange jumpsuit after authorities accused him of contaminating his wife’s post-workout protein shakes with something significantly less nutritious than extra creatine: poison.
Dr. Plaque, widely known for his motto “Only Trust a Man With Clean Molars,” apparently didn’t heed his own advice—at least according to prosecutors, who allege the good dentist’s attempts to get away with murder were about as subtle as a root canal without anesthesia.
Neighbors say the couple seemed happy right up until Mrs. Plaque dramatically stopped attending her weekly Zumba classes, prompting speculation that her sudden malaise wasn’t just a case of the Mondays. When police arrived on the scene, they were confronted with suspicious evidence, including an Amazon receipt for “Arsenic for Dummies,” a Google search for “does poison ruin enamel?”, and several vials labeled “Definitely Not Poison” in the family bathroom.
During the first day of the much-anticipated trial, Dr. Plaque pleaded not guilty, insisting that “any traces of toxins in those shakes could only have come from subpar whey.” His defense team—comprised almost entirely of people who owe him dental work—claims the accusations are nothing but “sour grapes” from a wife who “just never really flossed.”
Prosecutors, however, believe the case will be as easy to solve as extracting baby teeth. “Dr. Plaque might know how to fill cavities, but his alibi has more holes than Swiss cheese,” they said, while grimacing at the suspect’s persistent dentist jokes.
The trial continues next week, with the prosecution expected to show jurors a twisted set of dental x-rays, a suspiciously sparkly set of dentures, and testimonies from protein supplement experts—because if you can’t trust a dentist, who can you trust to put something in your mouth?
By: TheJestPress.com
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