#HoleInOne #BeginnerLuck #GolfProbs #AceUpHerSleeve #KananaskisComedy
By: TheJestPress.com
**‘GET IN THE HOLE!’: Kananaskis Staffer Nails Ace on First Round—Members Demand Immediate Drug Test**
In what experts are already calling “the day physics lost,” a staff member at Kananaskis Country Golf Course floored witnesses—and several geese—by nailing a hole-in-one in her very first round of golf.
Eyewitnesses report that Sheila Blakely, whose previous exposure to golf consisted of rolling her ankle in the parking lot, casually joined a group of veteran members “to see what all the plaid was about.” What happened next was enough to make Tiger Woods consider a new profession.
“People spend their whole lives chasing an ace,” sobbed longtime member Roger Fenwick, clutching his emotional support driver. “I’m on my second divorce because of this game. She just walks up, takes a weird hockey stance, swings, and BOOM! The ball disappears. I thought it was a rogue gopher.”
Course management confirmed that, yes, it was a legitimate hole-in-one and, no, Sheila hadn’t accidentally mistaken the cup for a granola bar disposal unit. “She asked if every hole gets a parade,” said head pro Molly Turner. “We’re still working on explaining handicaps. And why she can’t drive the cart through the sand.”
The rest of the group spent the next 17 holes in the five stages of grief, while Sheila celebrated by asking if the course WiFi would let her Google ‘Do I retire now?’ Meanwhile, other staff members are reportedly forming a support group titled, “No, You Can’t Have My Clubs.”
Blakely’s plans remain unclear, but insiders say she has been approached to host a TED Talk entitled “How to Ruin Office Morale With One Swing.” In the meantime, all staff wishing to play golf must now wear an honesty bracelet and submit to random skill checks.
“It’s just nice to be outside,” shrugged Blakely. “Next I might try curling. What could go wrong?”
By: TheJestPress.com
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