#Metallica #PentagonProblems #EnterSandman #DroneZone #CopyrightCrusaders
**Metallica Force Pentagon to Pull Video Touting Drone Program Over Unauthorized Use of “Enter Sandman”**
By: TheJestPress.com
In a move that has left both military strategists and classic rock fans reeling, Metallica has ordered the Pentagon to immediately remove a promotional video for its “Peacekeeper” drone initiative after discovering it featured the unauthorized use of the band’s legendary hit, “Enter Sandman.”
The video, which opened with night-vision shots of drones buzzing menacingly over distant hills while “Enter Sandman” blared triumphantly in the background, was meant to showcase America’s technological might. Instead, it showcased the Pentagon’s woeful lack of understanding about music licensing.
“We fought Napster for a reason,” stated Metallica frontman James Hetfield, polishing his golden legal briefcase. “If you want ‘Enter Sandman’ for your sleep-destroying drones, you gotta pay the piper—or at least buy the deluxe box set.”
Pentagon officials scrambled in response. “Our lawyers genuinely believed that if we paid for a Spotify subscription, all songs were fair game,” explained General Logan “DJ Drone” Barclay, brushing Doritos crumbs from his digital camo. “Apparently, Metallica doesn’t consider international defense initiatives ‘personal use.’ Who knew?”
Rumors now swirl that the Pentagon is opting for a safer playlist, including “Flight of the Bumblebee” and one royalty-free kazoo sonata. Meanwhile, Metallica is rumored to be working on a new single, “Kill ‘Em All—But Pay Your Licensing Fees.”
In related news, a Pentagon spokesperson confirmed all inspirational lunchroom playlists have been switched to “Happy Birthday” and the sound of someone humming.
When asked if this saga had impacted drone morale, one anonymous drone replied, “Nothing else matters.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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