#Hashtags: #InternationalUproar #BelarusianFlyBy #DroneWars #SatireNews #TheJestPress
By: TheJestPress.com
**Russia Allegedly Borrows Belarusian Airspace for Drone Strikes, Promises to Bring It Back Unharmed**
In a move that diplomatic sources are calling “the geopolitical equivalent of borrowing your neighbor’s wifi without asking,” Russia this week reportedly routed drone strikes on Ukraine through Belarusian airspace. Moscow insists it will return the airspace “in its original condition” and that “[Belarus] probably wouldn’t have used it for anything important anyway.”
Belarus, caught somewhat off-guard by their unexpected role as a drone superhighway, released a statement reading, “We had no idea our airspace could even get internet this fast.” Citizens of Minsk are now reportedly standing in their backyards waving at passing drones and hoping for duty-free packages to drop out.
Russian officials have denied any wrongdoing, stating that “airspace is like air—it should be shared.” Kremlin spokespeople reminded doubters that the ‘rules-based international order’ is “mostly a suggestion, like serving size instructions on vodka bottles.”
Meanwhile, Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko clarified his position: “Look, we didn’t see any drones. But if they did fly by, I hope they at least updated their GPS so they don’t get lost on the way home.”
Ukrainian officials have responded by archiving a strongly-worded letter and Googling “How to install a giant No-Fly Zone sign visible from space.”
Western governments, for their part, are considering new sanctions against “any country lending out airspace without parental supervision,” though critics warn this may drive rogue airspace users to “airspace of ill repute.”
At press time, NATO had begun work on a crowdsourced AirBnB-style app, tentatively called “SpaceShare,” so member nations can formally book air corridors for all their drone-based needs.
By: TheJestPress.com
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