#Satire #WeirdNews #Frostbite #NursingFail #OnlyInWisconsin
By: TheJestPress.com
**Wisconsin, USA** — In surely the most Wisconsin medical mishap since an angry cheesehead tried to milk a police horse, local nurse Mary Brownson was *let off the hook* this week after severing an elderly patient’s frostbitten foot—without, and this is crucial, *asking permission first*. Her reason? A need for a “show-and-tell” frostbite prop for the nursing home’s annual “Winter Survival Bingo.”
According to reports, Brownson spotted an opportunity when 62-year-old Daryl Munson was admitted with what doctors called “the iciest toes north of the Mississippi.” Instead of treating the limb, she saw a future as “Nurse Mary, bringer of Realistic Medical Accessories.” In a stunning act of medical showmanship, Brownson lopped off Munson’s foot faster than you can say, “That’s not regulation scrubs!”
When questioned, Brownson argued, “No one gets excited about PowerPoints on frostbite. You need something you can wave around at kids’ career day! Besides, he wasn’t using it much anyway.” She added that Munson was “very attached to his foot, but not in the literal sense, obviously.”
At trial, the judge ruled that Brownson’s actions were “deeply unorthodox, but also kind of creative,” and handed down a stern warning to “at least run it past the patient next time.” Brownson credited her legal triumph to “knowing the right folks on the Wisconsin Board of Frostbite Enthusiasts.”
Munson, for his part, says he now dreams of a matching severance package for his left foot, noting, “Maybe next year Nurse Mary needs a demo on athlete’s foot, too.”
In Wisconsin, it seems, you can lose a foot and gain a legacy. Just don’t expect a say in the matter.
By: TheJestPress.com
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