#Satire #IranArmy #10YearWar #WorldPeace #EpicThreats
By: TheJestPress.com
**Iran’s Army Ominously Threatens: “War for 10 Years”—Netflix Scrambles for Exclusive Rights**
In a bold and slightly exhausting new statement, Iran’s top military officials announced this week that if provoked, they are prepared to fight a war “for 10 years straight.” The declaration immediately left international leaders, military analysts, and a lot of people with attention spans shorter than a TikTok video quietly groaning, “Can we just… not?”
Iran’s spokesperson elaborated on the plan, stating, “No one truly appreciates persistence anymore. We’re bringing it back, and we’re bringing it HARD. We’re fully committed to 10 years of hardcore, non-stop, old-fashioned warfare, rain or shine, WiFi or none. It’s what the people—okay, maybe just us—deserve.”
The move has led to a flurry of worldwide reactions:
– **Britain**: Scrambled to google “how long was the Hundred Years’ War again?”
– **France**: Checked their collective calendar, mused, “Do we have time between wine tastings for this?”
– **America**: Opened a pool on whether the next iPhone would last longer than the war.
Netflix reportedly leapt at the opportunity, wanting to make “War: 10 Seasons, No Filler” a flagship epic. “It’s got drama, suspense, and probably at least one musical episode,” said a Netflix executive. “Honestly, with the way dating shows are going, this’ll be a breath of fresh air.”
Meanwhile, young Iranians were seen updating their LinkedIn profiles with new skills: “Endurance”, “Prolonged Conflict Engagement”, and “Can Start Arguments That Last a Decade.” Some hopefuls added, “Can we start after my gap year?”
The world waits with bated breath—and an ample supply of popcorn—to see if this 10-year saga begins, or, like all ambitious New Year’s resolutions, quietly fizzles out after a month.
By: TheJestPress.com
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