#RelationshipScience #BedroomBlunders #ChemistryConnoisseurs #TeamworkMakesTheSheetsWork #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**New Study Finds That People Who Think “Bedroom Chemistry” Comes Naturally Also Believe in Tooth Fairy, Smoothie Cleanses**
Groundbreaking research released this week from the Institute for Relationship Realities has upended what couples everywhere have been telling themselves during awkward pillow talk: believing that bedroom harmony is “just natural chemistry” might be a recipe for disappointment—and, possibly, a lifetime of passive-aggressive footsie.
The study, conducted over five continents and several slightly uncomfortable dinner parties, found that individuals convinced great sex depends on spontaneous cosmic alignment are *less* likely to let their bedroom joys spill over into general life satisfaction. “People tell us, ‘If it’s real, you shouldn’t have to work for it,’” noted lead researcher Dr. Wendy Pillowfort. “Interestingly, these are often the same folks who think forgetting an anniversary is ‘destiny’s way of keeping things exciting.’”
Meanwhile, couples who approached intimacy the way you approach assembling IKEA furniture—collaborative effort, open communication, and occasionally consulting the manual—reported not only greater satisfaction under the duvet but also fewer arguments about loading the dishwasher.
Just to keep things spicy, the study dropped another (unscented) bombshell: frequent sex was found to be a far better predictor of overall life happiness than believing you have a sexy sixth sense. “Apparently, practice doesn’t just make perfect,” explained Dr. Pillowfort. “It makes people actually want to fold the laundry together afterward.”
Relationship experts are urging people to ditch the myth of effortless, telepathic chemistry. “Whether you’re a jazz improviser or a militant list-maker, the secret to happiness is mutual effort,” said one therapist, eying their spouse’s attempt to fold a fitted sheet. “Either that, or scheduling a lot more adult recreation.”
So, if you’re banking on ‘natural sparks,’ remember: even chemistry class has homework.
By: TheJestPress.com
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