#WildfireFacts #ConspiracyInferno #MapleMisinformation #BlameTheCanadians #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**Experts: U.S. Conspiracies and Social Media Fuel Wildfire Misinformation in Canada**
In a shocking development, Canadian officials are now blaming out-of-control wildfires not merely on climate change, dry weather, or people who still think a “campfire” just means “burning a small forest,” but on an even more sinister threat: U.S.-sourced conspiracy theories and social media.
According to a panel of experts (three dudes who once watched a YouTube documentary and a lady who is pretty sure she saw a UFO), Canadians scrolling their phones have been bombarded by hot takes hotter than the actual fires. Rumors range from “wildfires were started by 5G towers” to “the government is using controlled burns to hide the existence of large maple syrup reserves.”
“It’s not just TikTok dances; it’s TikTok disinformation,” warned Dr. Leonna Candlestick of the Institute for Obvious Problems. “Yesterday, #WildfiresAreHolograms was trending above #JustinTrudeauShirtless. It’s a national emergency.”
Social networks are doing their best to help, primarily by attaching totally unreadable “context” banners under each post that only make the truth harder to find. One Twitter user, @TimBitz420, commented: “I heard from a friend’s uncle who has a podcast that it’s all lasers from space. Doesn’t even smell like smoke outside—just smells like lies.”
Meanwhile, U.S. conspiracy groups express confusion at the accusations, stating, “We just wanted to spread freedom, not fire.” Several are currently working on a theory that the Canadian wildfires are secretly an elaborate plot to mask the mass migration of moose.
Forestry officials want to remind citizens not to believe everything they see online, especially posts using the word “mind-control.” When in doubt, consult a real, live Canadian. If you can’t find one, check a Tim Horton’s.
Stay tuned for our follow-up: “Did Beavers Start the Wildfires? Experts Significantly Less Sure Than You’d Hope.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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