#satire #Eswatini #USdeportees #InternationalRelations #Diplomacy
By: TheJestPress.com
Mbabane, Eswatini – In what experts are already calling “the strangest episode of international Hot Potato since the Eurovision Song Contest,” the Kingdom of Eswatini has announced it is now the reluctant host to a growing collection of U.S. deportees—kept safe and sound in their finest, windowless accommodations.
According to officials, the U.S. sent “an impressive variety of humans” on a direct flight, accompanied by a polite but terribly vague note: “You’ll figure it out.” Rumor has it, the shipment included everyone from failed reality TV stars to people who once asked for pineapple on pizza in Brooklyn.
“All we know is the paperwork said ‘Property of America, please handle with care and irony,’” sighed Eswatini’s head of Deportee Relations, who admits he now low-key understands why Canada built such a big fence.
The deportees themselves are reportedly confused but mostly grateful that Eswatini’s prisons offer complimentary Wi-Fi and authentic, locally-sourced orange jumpsuits (“non-GMO, and only worn once!”).
With suitcases perpetually packed and their “I Love NY” mugs gathering sentimental dust on cell windowsills, the deportees now anxiously await repatriation—a process Eswatini promises will be handled “as soon as we work out who’s going to pay for the postage.”
Meanwhile, tourism has seen an unexpected boost, as international visitors flock to Eswatini’s Correctional Theme Park: “Come See the Americans! (No Touching, Please).” Favorite attractions include competitive spelling bees, inexplicable TikTok dances, and a daily re-enactment of the U.S. immigration queue.
Asked whether Eswatini might consider keeping a few U.S. deportees as cultural exchange mascots, officials replied, “Only if they promise never to mention ‘Florida Man’ ever again.”
Stay tuned as this diplomatic drama unfolds, and remember: in geopolitics, as in comedy, sometimes the punchline is just waiting for deportation.
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment