#Satire #AI #Meta #Australia #PrivacyConcerns
By: TheJestPress.com
Silicon Valley – In a bold move sure to delight privacy advocates everywhere, tech giant Meta has defended its controversial decision to scour personal information from Australians’ social media posts, arguing that its AI needs these details to ‘fully grasp Australian concepts.’
“We simply can’t teach our chatbot Vegemite, magpies, or the correct way to abbreviate every word without access to Australians’ embarrassing high school photos and late-night rants about the price of avocados,” said Meta spokesperson Connie Algorithm. “You can’t expect global AI to understand Australian culture from Neighbours reruns alone.”
Meta’s AI, dubbed “Stubby,” has reportedly struggled with Australian slang, frequently mistaking “arvo” (afternoon) for ‘angry vole’ and confusing lamingtons with construction materials. “Once, it thought a ‘bogan’ was a type of marshland,” Algorithm admitted. “We’re trying to avoid international incidents where an AI calls your mate a ‘wombat wrangler’ during a job interview.”
Critics argue this is just another excuse to harvest data like a kangaroo at an all-you-can-eat salad bar. Privacy groups warn that some sacred Down Under traditions—such as debating the superior sausage sizzle or the annual “Bin Chicken Appreciation Day”—should remain unmined by nosy algorithms.
Meta, meanwhile, remains undeterred, launching a compulsory new campaign: “Share a Yarn for AI.” Australians are now encouraged to tag Meta every time they post about lost thongs (flip-flops, not underwear), surprise drop bears, or their controversial stance on pineapple pizza. “It’s for the machines,” Meta explained. “How else will they survive in the wilds of the internet outback?”
When asked if Meta would offer Aussies any compensation for the data, Algorithm suggested a potential “digital stubby cooler” NFT. “It won’t keep your beer cold, but your data was warm anyway.”
Australians everywhere are expected to respond with a resounding, “Yeah, nah.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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