#VisaIntegrityFiasco #OhCanada #FeeFiFoFum #MapleSyrupTax #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**Canadian Permanent Residents Now Charged “Visa Integrity Fee” to Enter U.S.: Moose Outraged**
In a move that has shocked exactly seven people and one slightly irate family of moose, the United States has introduced a groundbreaking “Visa Integrity Fee” for Canadian permanent residents wishing to enter the majestic land of Eagles, Fries, and Reality TV—also known as the USA.
The new fee, which clocks in at a “modest” $247.63 USD (or roughly $14,000 CAD, thanks to exchange rates and maybe also taxes on dreams), is reportedly meant to “ensure only the most sincere visitors cross the border.” U.S. Border Services say the fee will “promote integrity, honesty, and maybe help fund a few stretches of Wall near Buffalo that keep collapsing due to snowstorms and Tim Hortons cups.”
The situation has left many PR residents baffled. “I don’t even go there for pleasure, just for the cheaper gas and outlet malls,” reported Toronto resident Rajiv Patel. “Now I have to choose between my November Black Friday shopping binge or paying my hydro bill for six months. Tough choice.”
Even moose are taking a stand. “Eh, this is ridiculous. I just want to cross for some superior U.S. pondweed,” snorted a resident Algonquin bull from near the border. “Next thing you know, they’ll be taxing people for bringing in ketchup chips.”
While some have criticized the new fee as “an elaborate ploy to test Canadian politeness,” U.S. officials claim it’s all about national security. “We need to make sure visitors really, really want to visit Aunt Cheryl in Detroit,” said spokesperson Jack McFreedom. “No integrity, no entry!”
When asked if the fee might spark payback charges for Americans entering Canada, Ottawa officials shrugged. “We were going to, but then we apologized in advance and gave everyone free poutine.”
Stay tuned for updates, or prepare Exact Change. This might get expensive.
By: TheJestPress.com
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