#Satire #MRIMania #StickToPlastic #FashionFiasco #MagnetsAreMagic
By: TheJestPress.com
**MRI Accident Prompts Hospitals to Recommend Plastic Accessories, Doctors Suggest Ditching Metal Bling for Checkups**
In a story that left even magnet salesmen saying, “Wow, that’s intense,” a local man met his untimely end after wearing a chunky metal chain necklace into an MRI machine—proving once and for all that hospital safety forms are more than polite suggestions from bored receptionists.
According to authorities, hospital staff repeatedly asked 38-year-old Tony “IceMedal” Malone to remove all metal objects before his scan. But sources report Tony replied, “This chain never leaves my neck. It’s part of me, like my blood or mysteriously unpaid parking tickets.”
Sadly, moments after the scan started, onlookers watched Tony’s bling make a break for magnetic greatness, dragging its owner along for the short but highly eventful ride. “I’d never seen someone floss so fast,” said MRI technician Doug Fields. “He had real street style, but the machine just had more pull.”
Hospitals nationwide are now rolling out new policies, including: “No Metal in MRI, Unless You’re Trying to Star in a Live-Action Looney Tunes Reboot.” Demonstrations are also planned for schools, featuring magnetized mannequins with steel noses and even steelier fashion sense.
Doctors stress that MRIs, while great for looking inside you, are not the ideal venue to test your hip hop credibility. “We recommend plastic chains, rhinestones, or simply nude modesty. Trust us, your scan will go a lot smoother—not to mention your subsequent lawsuit.”
The incident has also inspired hip hop artists to record new tracks like “Don’t Bring Your Grill to the Hospital” and “Chains Off, Gowns On.” TikTok trends are expected to follow, as teens everywhere risk nothing stronger than a friendship bracelet in medical imaging suites.
Let this be a lesson to all: hospitals may tolerate questionable fashion choices, but MRI machines never compromise on style—or physics.
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment