#VisaIntegrityFee #TravelTax #SatireNews #AmericanDream #TheJestPress
**Travelers to the US must pay a new $250 ‘visa integrity fee’**
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move officials are calling “an exciting new way to ensure visa integrity and fund coffee for government employees,” the United States has announced a new $250 ‘Visa Integrity Fee’ for anyone wishing to enter the Land of the Free (and the Heavily Surcharged).
According to the Department of Homeland Security, this fee is designed to “safeguard American borders by seeing who’s got $250 burning a hole in their pocket.” The fee will be collected before travelers even apply for a visa, so “it stings just the right amount,” as explained by government spokesperson Tina Fundsworth.
For years, American customs officials have struggled to sort out legitimate visitors from bad actors, but now, “we just figured the most honest people have at least $250 they won’t miss,” said Fundsworth. “Nothing says ‘I’m trustworthy’ quite like forking over rent money to fill out Form 26-B.”
Travelers have not taken kindly to the new policy. British tourist Nigel Pennypinch commented, “I suppose they need extra cash for those snazzy new TSA gloves.” Meanwhile, the Canadian government is still unsure whether to retaliate or just send over more maple syrup.
To ensure full transparency, the US government has also launched FeeTracker.gov, a website where applicants can watch a real-time digital counter of how many jet skis Visa Integrity Fees have purchased for the Miami field office.
Other countries are now considering their own integrity charges: rumors swirl that France may levy a “Wine Appreciation Fee,” while Australia is considering an Outback Tax (BYO snakes).
Still, the American spirit remains strong. “If you can pay to get into Disney World, you can pay to enter America,” Fundsworth concluded. “Except here, the lines are longer and the mascots are grumpier.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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