#WellsFargo #TravelBan #BankerProblems #InternationalIncident #SorryNotSorry
By: TheJestPress.com
**Wells Fargo Suspends China Travel After Banker Discovers Chinese Hospitality Includes “Permanent Layovers”**
In a bold move protecting their most valuable asset—people who can find obscure fees to charge you—Wells Fargo has officially suspended all business travel to China after one of its bankers learned the hard way that “going through customs” can last longer than a 30-year mortgage.
Sources confirmed the unfortunate Wells Fargo banker was subjected to an “exit ban,” which is incidentally also what many customers wish they had signed before opening a checking account. “We were shocked,” said a Wells Fargo spokesperson. “Usually, the only bars our bankers see are on 24K gold credit cards. This was a real wake-up call.”
The announcement was made at a hastily assembled Zoom press conference, where the background featured a rather pointed wallpaper of open international departure gates. “We value global partnerships,” the spokesperson droned, “but value not being permanently grounded even more.”
Unconfirmed reports say the affected employee is currently enjoying complimentary Wi-Fi, 37 bowls of instant noodles, and a more thorough understanding of Chinese tax laws than anyone outside of an espionage novel. Meanwhile, other staff are busy updating their LinkedIns and brushing up on phrases like “Sorry, I only travel domestically.”
Wells Fargo executives quickly updated their travel policy: Trips to China must now be approved by no fewer than three local psychics, four lawyers, and someone’s cousin Pete who watched a documentary about Beijing once.
China empathized, stating, “You’re free to enter, but not necessarily free to leave. Kinda like a bank’s ATM fees.”
Experts agree the move could spark a trend. Bank of America employees are reportedly requesting all meetings happen at Denny’s, and Chase has rerouted its annual summit to the glorious confines of a Fort Lauderdale Holiday Inn.
Asked if the suspended travel could hurt business, Wells Fargo replied, “No, there’s always Zoom. Plus, fewer lost laptops to explain.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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