#ScandalInTheStars #CelestialAffairs #ColdplayGate #NASAsoapOpera #GalacticGossip
**By: TheJestPress.com**
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron Placed on Leave After Video at Coldplay Concert Exposes Alleged Affair
In a scandal so cosmic it could only be measured in lightyears of embarrassment, renowned astronomer and CEO Andy Byron has been placed on administrative leave following a viral video allegedly exposing his secret affair—at, of all places, a Coldplay concert. It turns out that while most astronomers keep their eyes on the stars, Byron preferred to keep his hands preoccupied with “Someone Not Mrs. Byron” during a rousing rendition of “Sky Full of Stars.”
Byron, famed for his passionate TED Talks about the infinite loneliness of the universe, was caught on camera passionately not being lonely as he swayed with an as-yet-unidentified woman. The video, posted to “Astronomy Fails & Fiascos” TikTok, has since gone supernova among the scientific community, outperforming even the Hubble Telescope’s first blurry images in terms of public ridicule.
NASA immediately called an emergency press conference, scrapping this week’s planned update on the search for extraterrestrial life. “At this point, Andy Byron’s dating life is the only thing more mysterious than black holes,” said one anonymous astrophysicist. Insiders say that astronomers everywhere were “shook to their space boots,” with one colleague reporting, “We all thought his heart belonged to the cosmos… or maybe Neil deGrasse Tyson.”
Coldplay has also weighed in. The band tweeted, “Let’s all remember there’s a universe inside every relationship. Also, security at our next show will be watching for wandering hands.”
Byron, meanwhile, released a brief statement: “My actions were not in line with our organization’s code of conduct or, frankly, with the laws of gravity.” In the wake of this scandal, the Astronomy Association is rumored to be updating its employee handbook to include “no star-crossed romances at public events.”
Stay tuned for the tell-all book, rumored to be titled *Fifty Shades of Deep Space*.
**By: TheJestPress.com**
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