#NotSoGoodBoi #PawsitiveIndifference #DoggyJudgementDay #ScienceFetchesTruth #SitStayIgnore
By: TheJestPress.com
In a groundbreaking revelation that has left dog owners everywhere questioning those puppy-eyed stares, new research suggests that our canine companions might not be the master social judges we once believed. Yes, your dog, who can flawlessly locate a week-old slice of pizza under the couch but can’t tell if your friends are jerks, might just not care who’s nice or naughty.
The study, conducted by a team of scientists armed with lab coats—and even more treats—introduced dogs to scenes of humans being overtly kind or cruel. Would the dogs recoil from the villain, or at least offer some serious side-eye? Nope. In many cases, Fido wagged and drooled at both, seemingly just as happy to accept a treat from someone who gives a wedgie to orphans as from someone who knits sweaters for kittens.
“I always trusted Max’s judgment about people,” said one shocked owner. “But apparently he’d accept a biscuit from Hannibal Lecter.”
Researchers say this throws a wrench into the age-old belief that dogs are perfect judges of character. “We now know dogs are far less Judge Judy, and far more neutral Switzerland,” said lead researcher Dr. Jane Barker, who was tragically ignored during the treat portion of the experiment.
This may finally explain why dogs still wag their tails at that neighbor who borrows your lawnmower and returns it filled with sand. Or why, despite that new guy being banned from every dog park, your beagle still greets him with the enthusiasm of a reunion in a Disney movie.
So, the next time your dog enthusiastically jumps on your ex, take comfort: It’s not a betrayal, just scientific proof that your dog is, well, blissfully indifferent to human morality. Good boy? Jury’s still out.
By: TheJestPress.com
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