#FriendshipGoals #SingleLifeHacks #BestieBoost #EmotionalWellness #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**Study Finds Having Quality Friends Makes Single People Forget They’re Single — Until Valentine’s Day**
A groundbreaking new study has revealed what single Americans have long suspected but didn’t want to admit: the key to their happiness isn’t a romantic partner, just better quality friends who won’t flake out when it’s their turn to bring snacks.
While previous research suggested that “quantity over quality” applied to both chicken nuggets and social circles, this new data confirms that single people’s well-being is less about collecting friends like Pokémon cards—and more about having that one reliable friend who knows how to set up your Wi-Fi.
Lead researcher Dr. Sandy Alone explains, “We found that single people with strong, satisfying friendships are far happier than those with an army of acquaintances who text ‘wyd’ at 2 a.m.” The findings indicate that the real secret to emotional health isn’t blasting your group chat with memes, but rather having one confidante you can ugly cry to after deleting Tinder for the fourth time this week.
Interestingly, the study also found that single Americans with well-managed social networks reported feeling “not single” approximately 362 days a year. “The remaining three days are Valentine’s Day, their birthday, and that one wedding where they got stuck at the kid’s table,” Dr. Alone noted.
So what does this mean for America’s singles? Experts advise focusing less on friend quantity and more on friend quality: “You don’t need a hundred friends, just one who remembers your dog’s name and doesn’t judge your microwave dinner habit,” Dr. Alone explained.
As for building and managing quality friendships, the secret apparently lies in remembering birthdays, sending the occasional meme, and learning to tolerate board games. And most importantly, never, ever, say you’re “too busy” for someone who holds your hair back at parties.
Happy friending, singles! Who needs a soulmate when your bestie has a Costco membership?
By: TheJestPress.com
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