#ExtremeSports #OneTooMany #SkyHighRisks #LivingOnTheEdge #ParaglidingProblems
By: TheJestPress.com
**Man Who Jumped from Edge of Space Dies Paragliding; Experts Shocked He Even Bothered**
Local daredevil and gravity denialist Nigel “SkyBoy” Jenkins, famed for leaping from the literal edge of space and surviving to tell the tale, has tragically—and ironically—perished during a recreational paragliding flight. The internationally acclaimed thrill-seeker, whose hobbies included free-falling from almost every layer of Earth’s atmosphere, was reportedly “taking it easy” on his final voyage.
Witnesses say Jenkins, 41, approached the paragliding launch site with an air of casual boredom, muttering, “At least this time I’ll have fabric between me and the ground.” Despite surviving previous encounters with razor-thin atmospheric conditions, a breakfast burrito, and the ever-dreaded airline baggage fees, Jenkins succumbed to the perils of a medium-grade updraft.
Paragliding instructor Linda “Windbreaker” Martinez confirmed she tried to warn Jenkins that paragliding was “dangerous and unpredictable,” but Jenkins, fresh off a YouTube series titled “Falling: It’s My Thing,” assured her, “I once dodged a satellite with my elbow. I got this.”
According to close friends, Jenkins was seeking a “more relaxing hobby” now that he had ticked off every box on the “None of my insurance policies cover this” list. Unfortunately, Jenkins’ transition from asteroid-hop to recreational aerial hang-glider was cut short by what experts are calling “Gravity, but in a snarky mood.”
NASA, Red Bull, and Jenkins’s long-suffering mother have issued a joint statement: “We are devastated. We always knew it would be something mundane that got him.”
Plans for a memorial skydiving event have been postponed indefinitely—organizers fear it might be “too safe for his legacy.” Instead, attendees will gather and just stand completely still.
By: TheJestPress.com
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