#FerryFlambe #HotTicket #NotSoCruisy #SpicySailing #JustAddWater
By: TheJestPress.com
**Passengers Rescued from Indonesian Ferry Fire; “Complimentary Sauna Experience Went Too Far,” Say Survivors**
Indonesian authorities are celebrating the daring rescue of over 250 passengers from a burning passenger ferry this week, after what many have dubbed “the hottest ticket on the Java Sea.” The still-smoldering vessel, The S.S. Cinderblock, was reportedly en route from Jakarta to Belitung Island when its “straight fire” reviews finally got literal.
“I chose this ferry because the advertisement said ‘experience a journey you’ll never forget,’” said passenger Ramon Gunawan, fanning himself with a half-melted safety pamphlet. “They weren’t kidding. It was like the Titanic, if Jack and Rose got rescued by enthusiastic fishermen armed with buckets of seawater and spirited optimism instead of a string orchestra.”
Officials are downplaying the incident, citing the ferry’s commitment to “adventurous amenities.” “Let’s not call it a disaster,” explained Transportation Ministry spokesperson Siti Listrik. “It was an unplanned, immersive fire drill with scenic ocean views and a free exfoliation treatment for all on the upper deck.”
The ferry’s kitchen staff admitted they “might’ve overcooked” the satay, but maintain that “charred” is a matter of taste. Restaurant manager Pak Idris pointed proudly to the extendable marshmallow skewers now being issued as standard safety equipment.
Passengers were full of praise for the rescuers, who, like true Indonesians, showed up not just with life vests but with snacks and a Bluetooth karaoke machine. “We never thought we’d finish our journey to the soundtrack of ‘Fire’ by the Pointer Sisters,” said one slightly crispy tourist, still clutching a coconut as a flotation device.
The ferry company could not be reached for comment, possibly because their phone lines are on “permanent hold.” However, word is they’re considering offering their “Hot Set Sail” package exclusively in the winter months.
By: TheJestPress.com
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