#NASADrama #SpaceExit #RocketResignations #AstroProblems #HoustonWeHaveAResignation
By: TheJestPress.com
NASA announced today that yet another senior official has resigned, setting a new agency record for “most astronauts left behind in meeting rooms.” The news comes as tensions over NASA’s uncertain future have grown so high that even the Mars Rover is posting cryptic tweets about needing a “mental health day.”
Acting Administrator Carl “Last Man in the Breakroom” Brown explained, “We’ve had twelve resignations just this morning. At one point, the guy running the coffee machine filed a transfer to Space Force. Apparently, the stress of picking between the Moon, Mars, or a four-hour PowerPoint loop about ‘agile rocket design’ was just too much.”
Internal sources say the exodus began when the official job title started changing every other week. One employee described her recent promotion to “Deputy Interim Co-Executive Acting Administrator” as “honestly the last straw. I’m not sure if that means I get paid more or just have to answer more emails with ‘per my last transmission.’”
The flight director’s chair now rotates so quickly between names that it’s been equipped with its own eject button “for convenience.” Morale boosters included a zero-gravity yoga class in the breakroom, though attendees reported floating away in the middle of downward dog and coming back to find management had been replaced by an AI named ‘HALpDesk2024.’
Despite the resignations, NASA remains committed to the bold vision outlined in their last press release: “To seek out new grant funding, to bravely reboot the Artemis project for the 14th time, and to discover just what happened to that leftover astronaut ice cream from 1973.”
Rumors swirl about who will step in next. Insiders suspect it’s the social media intern, currently writing the agency’s next big announcement: “NASA headquarters—now hiring! No experience necessary, must be able to find Uranus on a map.”
Stay tuned—Houston is still accepting applications.
By: TheJestPress.com
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