#SkyNZ #WBDDeal #OneDollarWonder #SatireNews #NZMedia
By: TheJestPress.com
**Sky NZ Strikes $1 Deal for WBD’s Channels, Beans Now Considered Overpriced**
AUCKLAND – In perhaps the most jaw-dropping business deal since someone decided VHS was the future, Sky NZ has reportedly landed the holy grail of modern commerce: all of Warner Bros. Discovery’s New Zealand channels for the grand sum of $1. That’s right—one lucky gold coin. Bargain hunters, rejoice. Try getting a coffee for that these days.
Stunned Sky NZ execs admitted the negotiation process was grueling. “We initially wanted to pay in leftover Easter eggs and a coupon for free fish and chips,” explained Sky’s Head of Acquisitions, Janet Bargainson. “But then WBD politely refused, insisting on a shiny dollar. We didn’t want to seem cheap.”
The official statement from Warner Bros. Discovery reads: “Given the intense competitive media landscape and the rapidly rising cost of, well, everything, we felt it was time to make a bold move—and also clear out the storage space we were using for all those local TV guides. We wish Sky the very best, and hope they enjoy our slightly broken remote controls.”
Australians immediately attempted to outbid with two dollarydoos, but were rejected on the grounds that no one knows the current exchange rate.
Meanwhile, New Zealanders everywhere are now banding together to see what else they can buy for a dollar. Early suggestions include the All Blacks’ next World Cup campaign, Jacinda Ardern’s LinkedIn endorsements, and the Auckland traffic congestion problem.
Sky NZ is still unsure how to break the news to subscribers, who will continue paying the monthly cost of a small car in exchange for three channels of reruns and unlimited rugby commentary.
One thing’s clear—next time you’re at a garage sale, take Sky NZ with you. They clearly know how to spot a deal.
By: TheJestPress.com
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