#Satire #IndiaNews #NATO #RussiaSanctions #InternationalRelations
By: TheJestPress.com
**India Pushes Back Against NATO’s Sanctions Warning, Offers NATO Tutorials on Mind-Your-Own-Business**
In an unexpected twist that left international diplomats refreshing Google Translate for the eleventh time, India has officially pushed back against NATO’s strongly worded warning over its continued trade with Russia.
NATO, reportedly upset that India’s recent imports might contain trace amounts of forbidden Russian vibes, fired off a letter using words like “gravely concerned,” “robust response,” and “yours sincerely.” Unfazed, India responded with a statement promising to “investigate” NATO’s ability to alphabetically arrange its priorities in 2024.
“We’d love nothing more than to comply with NATO’s wishes, but our curry exports have diplomatic immunity,” read the Indian External Affairs Ministry’s memo, handed out on batik-printed A4 sheets during a lunch of butter chicken and light banter.
NATO threatened “consequences” if India continued cozying up to Russia, though it’s currently unclear what those would involve. “We could always block cricket highlights in Europe, but frankly, we get dizzy after two overs,” a NATO official confessed before anxiously Googling “what are samosas?”
India has graciously offered to host free online tutorials entitled “How to Mind Your Own Business: Basic Level,” open to representatives from any alliance struggling to remember their own acronyms. A bonus masterclass, “Sanctions: The World’s Best Icebreakers at G20 Parties,” is already generating waitlists.
Russian officials, meanwhile, praised India’s bold clapback, presenting Prime Minister Modi with an honorary “Chill Diplomat” ushanka. China reportedly sent over popcorn and a note reading, “Welcome to the Club.”
At press time, sources say NATO was last seen re-reading their Wikipedia entry and furiously scrolling through Insta posts of Mumbai street food, contemplating whether it’s finally time to switch from warnings to just asking nicely.
By: TheJestPress.com
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