#Satire #PhilippinesNews #RadioDrama #BreakingStatic #MediaMayhem
By: TheJestPress.com
**Radio Journalist in Southern Philippines Killed – Local Villains Eager to Give Live Interviews**
In yet another chapter for the “World’s Riskiest Jobs: Philippines Edition,” a local radio journalist in the southern region has tragically been killed, reportedly for broadcasting more truth than the daily horoscope allows. Famed for her hard-hitting exposés like “Why Our Streets Flood Every Tuesday” and “City Council’s Mysterious Love for Photo Ops,” the journalist’s untimely death has left a massive void in the region’s number-one radio show not sponsored by soda companies.
Authorities responded immediately by forming the “Committee to Announce That There Will Soon Be Another Committee.” When asked for comment, the police chief stated: “We swear this time we’ll crack the case, unless something more trending happens.”
Meanwhile, local politicians—previously allergic to interviews—are now scrambling to defend freedom of speech, vowing that “journalists should be free to say whatever the script says.” A city mayor reassured constituents, “We’ll make sure our press is safe—just as soon as we finish censoring their headlines.”
In a morbid twist, villains suspected of plotting the attack have reached out to radio stations, insisting they should be interviewed to “defend their side of the story” from negative press. “We too have feelings,” said one masked suspect over static-filled AM radio, “and honestly, it hurts when people call us ‘the bad guys’ without even hearing our full PowerPoint.”
The national government has, as tradition demands, released a twelve-point action plan, the first step being “change profile pictures to black.” The last step, as always, is “wait and see if anyone remembers in a week.”
In these troubled winds, the local radio committee has proclaimed, “The show must go on!”—but nobody is willing to take the host seat. Revenues from hazard pay are up—morale, less so.
By: TheJestPress.com
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