#WorldLeadersOnLunchBreak #DiplomaticDiets #EatingWithMyEnemy #GazaGarnish #InternationalAppetite
By: TheJestPress.com
**Global Leaders Urge Gaza to “Consider Intermittent Fasting” As Hunger Surges**
In what is being hailed as “the latest in cutting-edge nutritional advice,” world leaders have urged the starving population of Gaza to see their growing hunger crisis as an “opportunity” to embrace trendy wellness routines.
Reports indicate dozens of children and adults in Gaza have tragically starved to death in July, a crisis experts say is “the kind of diet plan that really sticks with you.” The international community wasted no time in offering their unsolicited advice. United Nations officials have reportedly sent Gaza residents copies of “Intermittent Fasting for Dummies,” along with a 3-minute motivational TED Talk delivered by someone who once skipped breakfast and “lived to tell the tale.”
White House spokespeople reassured the press, “We haven’t forgotten Gaza. Not entirely. We’ve just put the situation on the back burner—right next to the burnt toast.” Meanwhile, European diplomats claim they are closely monitoring the situation, which, they explain, “is all we have energy for before our afternoon charcuterie boards.”
Social media influencers have jumped in to help, launching the #HungerGlow challenge: “Starve for solidarity! Post your empty plate, use our hashtag, and remember: suffering is beautiful with the right filter.”
In an attempt at levity, the U.S. Secretary of State quipped, “Let them eat ceasefire,” which was met with blank stares and murmurs of “didn’t Marie Antoinette get fired for that?”
On the ground, Palestinians in Gaza expressed gratitude for all the thoughts, prayers, and Instagram story updates sent their way. “It’s great,” said a local, “that world leaders can lose their appetite for justice so easily, because we’ve already lost ours for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
Stay tuned for our upcoming recipe column: **“100 Ways To Season An Empty Plate.”**
By: TheJestPress.com
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