#WorldInDenial #DarkSatire #NewsParody #UNresolutions #PoliticalAppetite
By: TheJestPress.com
GAZA—Local parents across Gaza are lamenting the sudden challenge of explaining to their children what “food” was, as hospital wards fill with skeletal youngsters whose most significant source of nourishment is biting sarcasm. Eyewitnesses reported that hospital scales now double as wind chimes, and nutritionists have replaced pyramid charts with pictures of mirages.
“We’ve faced hunger before, but never like this,” sighed Mahmoud El-Starves, who recently tried to feed his toddler a hearty meal of wishful thinking garnished with memories of bread. “Doctors say he’s malnourished, but I say he’s avant-garde—he subsists entirely on hope and UNICEF press releases.”
Local hospitals report overcrowding, as children arrive famished but with unshaken optimism. “The appetite here is almost as large as the international community’s appetite for resolutions with no follow-through,” noted Dr. Aya B. Gonner. “At least when the U.N. sends us boxes labeled ‘aid,’ the children can enjoy the cardboard. It’s low-calorie, but rich in disappointed expectations.”
International responses have come pouring in—from a safe distance. France sent a strongly-worded letter. The U.K. contributed a care package containing a tea bag and a sympathy card. The U.S. sent humanitarian drone strikes, claiming they are ‘targeted for hunger relief.’
Meanwhile, humanitarian organizations have launched the “See Something? Say Something!” campaign, urging people globally to post hashtags and change their profile pictures as a balanced meal substitute. “If only hashtags were edible,” one nurse mused, “we could all enjoy a #ShawarmaSunday.”
As Gaza’s children cling to life and the world clings harder to plausible deniability, one thing is clear: international relations may be starving for solutions, but irony is always on the menu.
By: TheJestPress.com
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