#Satire #MacronMania #PalestinePuzzle #DiplomaticDabbing #OuiOuiPeace
By: TheJestPress.com
**Macron Announces France to Recognize Palestine, Promises Follow-Up Croissant Summit**
In a move that shocked absolutely no one except maybe the guy running France’s bakery union, President Emmanuel Macron announced today that France would recognize Palestine as a state—once the French parliament finally agrees on how to pronounce “Ramallah.”
Standing confidently atop a stack of unsold baguettes, Macron declared, “France is a nation of liberty, equality, and complicated bureaucratic paperwork. Today, we recognize Palestine! Tomorrow, perhaps we’ll recognize your cousin’s garage band.”
World leaders promptly congratulated Macron on finally taking a stand, after years of politely shrugging and offering peace talks over glasses of imported Bordeaux. Meanwhile, several French politicians celebrated by surrendering to their own emotions.
“We believe in two states for two peoples,” Macron said, pausing only briefly to check his reflection in the window of a nearby Peugeot. “After much deliberation, we realized that not recognizing Palestine was slightly less trendy than eating stale brioche.”
The move was not without its critics. Former French presidents, speaking from their comfortable exile in the south of France, worried it would set a dangerous precedent—namely, that France might recognize other countries like Wakanda, Narnia, or even Belgium.
When asked how France plans to solidify this recognition, Macron hinted at a lavish croissant-fueled summit in Paris. “We invite Israeli and Palestinian leaders to join us for artisanal pastries and a group therapy session, led by the cast of Les Misérables.”
Back in Paris, crowds celebrated the announcement by switching from striking over retirement age to striking over the correct spelling of “Palestine.” French cafés offered special “Recognition Lattes” and a limited-edition “Diplomacy Eclair”—filled with hot air and crumbs.
Reporters asked Macron if next France would formally recognize New Jersey. The president shrugged, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
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