#BabyMath #ModernParenting #SGMScience #BirdsandBeesUpgrade #ParenthoodPlotTwist
**Study Finds Sexual and Gender Minority Adults Are Having Babies the Old-Fashioned, New-Fashioned, and Sci-Fi Ways**
By: TheJestPress.com
Great news, everyone: The stork has apparently been updating its résumé! A groundbreaking new study has revealed how sexual and gender minority (SGM) adults are welcoming children into their homes—and honestly, it reads a bit like a parenting menu at an intergalactic café.
According to researchers, a whopping 56% of SGM parents reported that they achieved parenthood the “classic way”—yes, that’s pregnancy resulting from sexual activity, otherwise known as the birds and the bees, or as we now call it, “heritage mode.” While this may shock those who assumed SGM families all get babies shipped via Amazon Prime, it seems old habits die hard.
But don’t go thinking that conventional conception has all the fun. The study found that 14% of SGM parents experienced pregnancies “without sexual activity.” That’s right—the age-old tradition of “no touching, just hatching” is alive and well. When pressed for details, researchers simply shrugged and mumbled something about technology, test tubes, and immaculate inspiration. One participant, Debbie from Seattle, proudly declared, “Who needs candlelight? We had LEDs and a very talented lab technician.”
The remaining 28%? They opted for “non-pregnancy pathways” like adoption and surrogacy. Unlike the other groups, these parents say they prefer the solid five-star Yelp reviews for “baby delivery services, no stretch marks included.” Side effects include slightly less unsolicited advice at baby showers.
With so many options on the table, it seems the road to parenthood for SGM folks is truly a “choose your own adventure.” Coming soon: IVF drone deliveries and quantum co-parenting.
Researchers warn the next census may simply include a question: “So, exactly *how* did this happen?” Prompting parents to reply, “It’s complicated. But the baby’s adorable.”
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment