#OopsTheyDidItAgain #NOLAnews #PrisonBreak2 #GateIsAlwaysOpen #EscapeRoomChampions
By: TheJestPress.com
NEW ORLEANS—In a dazzling demonstration of tradition, efficiency, and jazz-infused bumbling, New Orleans officials have mistaken the “release” button with the “hold ’em tight” button—again. On Tuesday morning, authorities at the Not-So-Secure Correctional Facility unwittingly freed yet another inmate, mere weeks after ten others made an unscheduled field trip in May.
“We’re honestly flattered at the attention,” said warden Louie Letthemgo, cleaning his saxophone and calendar simultaneously. “I mean, we’re not just any prison. At this point, we’re basically the city’s hottest new AirBnB for fugitives.”
The released inmate, whose identity has been kept secret “out of embarrassment,” was reportedly last seen shouting, “Are you sure?” as guards triple-checked non-existent paperwork and congratulated him on “serving most of a day.”
When asked for comment, mayoral spokesperson Clarice Datagone said, “Hey, in a city where even the potholes never stay put, we’re happy to see our correctional system embracing local culture.”
The escapees from May, meanwhile, have continued the great New Orleans tradition of disappearing into thin air faster than Mardi Gras beads at a float. Still, prison staff are confident they can rectify the problem. “We’re going to get laminated instructions for the release button,” Letthemgo announced, “and maybe add a couple of traffic cones.”
Until then, any New Orleanians spotting an inmate wandering free are encouraged to offer them a po’boy and directions to the nearest jazz club. If approached, authorities remind you to avoid accepting invitations to ‘Test the Locks’ parties or ‘Impromptu Freedom Parades.’
In a city that never locks its doors or its cells, the question remains: is this incompetence, or just Southern hospitality gone wild?
By: TheJestPress.com
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