#ExplosiveDiscovery #SchoolBusBlues #BlastingBackToSchool #EducationBoom #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
In today’s episode of “Things Our Parents Never Warned Us About,” local authorities were stunned to discover 50 pounds of dynamite neatly stacked in an abandoned school bus behind Big Tony’s Used Car Lot. Because when we said school was a blast, this isn’t what we meant.
The bus, which last transported students in 1992 and subsequently served as a raccoon sanctuary, allegedly looked “suspiciously normal.” Sergeant Linda Boone described the situation: “At first, we thought it was just another meth lab, but nope — only good old-fashioned explosives this time. Frankly, that’s a relief for us.”
Residents gathered at the scene, with one local, Jeff Purdy, noting, “I always said my kids would rather blow up their school bus than ride it. Guess I should have checked if they meant, like, literally.”
Rumors are swirling regarding the dynamite’s origin. Some suggest it was part of an abandoned educational initiative. “Maybe this was for the science fair — you know, to really blow the judges away,” speculated former science teacher Mrs. Crumley, while clutching her “I Survived Middle School” mug.
City officials have seized the opportunity for a teachable moment. “Let this serve as a lesson to never leave your dynamite unattended in public places. Or your school buses,” Mayor Dwayne McBoom said, pausing to confirm that ‘McBoom’ is his legal surname.
The bus will be donated to the Museum of Questionable School Policies, and the explosives promptly removed—possibly with a very long stick. Parents can now rest easy, knowing that, at least in this case, explosive school news had nothing to do with standardized testing.
Back to you, reality.
By: TheJestPress.com
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