#MDMA #TherapyGoneWild #DancingDepressionAway #ScienceLOL #BigPharmaRave
By: TheJestPress.com
**Groundbreaking Study Finds MDMA-Assisted Therapy Helps Patients Hug Their Depression Goodbye**
In a move that finally validates at least one college student’s “spiritual awakening” in a field tent, scientists have announced that MDMA-assisted therapy could help treat major depressive disorder—a term no one at Coachella has ever used. The new proof-of-principle study offers hope to millions, and raises questions like: “Will my insurance cover glow sticks?” and “Is this why my therapist keeps wearing cargo pants?”
Researchers describe the study as both a breakthrough for mental health and a breakthrough for anyone still waiting for a legal reason to use their dad’s old disco ball. Volunteers in the trial experienced “profound emotional connection, increased self-acceptance, and a relentless urge to start a group hug.” One participant, still wearing beaded bracelets, stated, “After the third session, my depression was gone, and so was my aversion to drum and bass.”
Therapists have had to adjust their traditional approach. “We’ve replaced the couch with a giant bean bag. Also, all sessions now begin with ‘Sandstorm’ by Darude,” said Dr. Luna Vibe, lead researcher and part-time DJ.
Of course, not everyone is ready to embrace the new treatment. Pharmaceutical companies are considering lobbying for their own “chill pill” alternative, while parents nationwide are bracing for serious conversations that begin, “It’s not a party, Mom—it’s therapy!”
The FDA is expected to take several years before approving MDMA therapy, which is approximately two years after everyone starts doing it anyway. In unrelated news, tie-dye shirt sales have tripled.
Researchers say the proof-of-principle study is only a beginning—but already, millions are ready to drop their baggage, and maybe a beat.
By: TheJestPress.com
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