#COVIDConfusion #PolishPolitics #NarrativeWarfare #PandemicPlots #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**Polish Political Parties Agree: COVID-19 Only Exists as Long as It’s Politically Convenient**
WARSAW — In a shocking twist showing the true power of airborne confusion, a recent study reveals that supporters of Poland’s four major political parties spent the COVID-19 pandemic locked in a no-holds-barred battle for Most Creative Narrative, shattering all records previously held by late-night improv groups and conspiracy theorists at family gatherings.
Law and Justice (PiS) supporters were first to act, treating COVID as both a “foreign biological threat” and a historic chance to buy really big flags. “PiS approached the virus the same way they do everything: with 70% patriotism and 30% suspicion of Brussels,” explained Dr. Antoni Prawda, chief expert in Unhelpful Studies.
Meanwhile, Civic Platform (PO) enthusiasts spent their days demanding government accountability and their nights trying to remember if they were supposed to drink disinfectant or inject it. “We must listen to the science — unless the science is from the other side,” declared one PO supporter, already triple-masked and double-speaking.
Confederation fans oscillated between arguing COVID didn’t exist, and if it did, it was probably caused by 5G towers, veganism, or someone trying to ban coal. “Our bodies, our choice!” shouted one member, while simultaneously sharing a dozen homemade memes linking the virus to Bill Gates and forced Esperanto classes.
The Left (Lewica) developed a simple solution: Build more hospitals, unions, and hashtag campaigns than cases. “Viruses are defeated with workplace democracy and TikTok dances, comrades!” said a party activist, elbow-bumping socialist hand sanitizer directly into the air.
If nothing else, the study proved that when it comes to pandemic narratives, Polish political parties agree on only one thing: When in doubt, blame the other guy—and never let the truth get in the way of a good campaign poster.
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment