#CatLawsuit #BlueAngels #SeattleLife #FelineRights #JetSetters
By: TheJestPress.com
**Elderly Seattle Cat Sues Blue Angels For Emotional Distress, Plans to Testify From Under the Bed**
SEATTLE – In a legal bombshell rattling the downtown litter box industry, local feline icon Mr. Fluffykins McWhiskers officially became the first cat in Seattle’s history to file a lawsuit against the U.S. Navy’s Blue Angels air show. According to the 35-page complaint (scrawled, reportedly, in nearly illegible paw prints), the supersonic jets caused Fluffykins “extreme terror, existential dread, and, notably, the abrupt cessation of naptime.”
Fluffykins’ owner, Margaret Wethers, serves as legal representative and lead comfort provider. “While some Seattleites thrill at the sight of fighter jets roaring overhead, my sweet boy panics under the nearest backdrop of flat-pack IKEA furniture,” she told The Jest Press. “You try extracting a 19-pound Himalayan-mix from underneath a six-inch gap twice a year. It’s emotional damage for both of us.”
The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages, including a lifetime supply of organic catnip, a waving apology from the pilots, and the donation of twelve noise-cancelling headphones scaled to feline proportions. The Blue Angels, meanwhile, have offered a statement: “We’re eager to show Mr. McWhiskers that our maneuvers are not intended to disrupt his ninth nap, just to disrupt gravity.”
Seattle’s animal rights activists are watching the case closely, with Cats Against Loud Thunderous Sounds (CALTS) calling it a “historic leap forward” for feline welfare. Legal experts predict difficulty: “Typically, the judicial system requires plaintiffs to not yowl at laser pointers mid-trial. This could pose unique challenges,” explained Professor M.J. Tuna of Paw University Law.
While the City of Seattle has yet to respond, Fluffykins himself remains steadfast in his demands, emerging from hiding only for the sound of a treat bag. The trial is set to begin the first rainy day after the Blue Angels’ next performance, which could be in… well, Seattle, so any day now.
By: TheJestPress.com
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