#ImpostorSyndrome #WomenInSTEM #FakeItTillYouMakeIt #MarginalizedButBrilliant #SatireScience
By: TheJestPress.com
**Groundbreaking Study Reveals Women in STEM Are Basically Secret Agents Pretending to Be Themselves**
A new study that will shock absolutely no one, except maybe your male lab partner who calls you “girl genius” unironically, has found that 97.5% of women in STEM graduate programs experience at least a moderate level of impostor syndrome. In other news, 2.5% of women in STEM are either already robots, or so tired they’ve transcended self-doubt and reached a Zen state known only as “deadline detachment.”
Researchers originally thought women in these fields just loved cosplay, but it turns out they’re all just experts at impersonating “someone who has their life together.” According to Dr. Paige Turner, lead scientist on the survey, “The only lab test we failed was the one where we tried to find a woman in STEM who didn’t doubt herself. We’re still looking.”
The study further revealed that impostor syndrome intensifies for those with multiple marginalized identities. “It’s like Pokémon but your collection is metaphysical baggage,” said Dr. Turner, “Gotta catch ’em all… or just attempt to make eye contact in the faculty meeting.”
One anonymous respondent commented, “If I had a dollar for every time I wondered if I belong here, I’d have enough to pay back two months of my student loans. Or one latte at the campus coffee shop.”
In response, universities have begun workshops called “How to Pretend You’re OK 101,” which include modules like “Nodding Convincingly in Seminars” and “How to Say ‘Interesting Point’ When You Have No Idea What Just Happened.”
Meanwhile, the 2.5% who don’t feel like impostors serve as cryptids in the department. “I saw her once in the wild,” whispered one grad student. “She finished a problem set, smiled, and left. Nobody believed me.”
The struggle continues, but one thing’s for sure: if impostor syndrome was a skill, women in STEM would have already published a peer-reviewed paper about it.
By: TheJestPress.com
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