#Satire #MiddleEast #Diplomacy #Hamas #UnexpectedNews
By: TheJestPress.com
**Arab League Calls on Hamas to Disarm, Immediately Files For Trademark on “Unprecedented Moves”**
CAIRO — In a move so unexpected it caused spontaneous coffee spills from Casablanca to Kuwait City, a coalition of Arab states today formally asked Hamas to disarm and step down from power—a request described by all participants as “sort of like asking a camel to hand over its humps.”
“This is not something we usually do,” admitted an unnamed spokesman for the Arab League, who was last seen frantically Googling ‘How to disarm militant groups diplomatically.’ “Typically, our statements are limited to strongly-worded letters, ambiguous tweets, and the occasional meme, but today… we really went for it.”
Hamas officials, caught off guard by the request, were initially convinced it was an elaborate prank. “We checked twice for hidden cameras,” said a source close to the leadership, “and we kept expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out with a keffiyeh and yell, ‘You’ve been punked!’”
Experts say the sudden boldness may be fueled by an internal Arab League contest awarding free falafel for a year to the country proposing the “most unlikely diplomatic solution.”
The proposal’s details are a closely guarded secret, reportedly scribbled on a napkin during a particularly long lunch break. Still, the preliminary terms include “relentlessly positive thinking,” a year’s supply of olive oil, and a promise to explain the plot of “Game of Thrones” to anyone in Gaza City who’s still confused.
International reactions were equally stunned. One UN diplomat was overheard whispering, “Next, they’ll call for World Peace Friday and ask the United Nations to wear matching hats.”
Whether Hamas will comply remains clouded in mystery. For now, the Arab League’s historic pitch is being hailed as a turning point and a potential goldmine for future Hollywood scripts tentatively titled “Diplomacy: The Musical.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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