#VodkaMistake #SeltzerSurprise #EnergyDrinkFails #BuzzedAtBrunch #RecallRoundup
By: TheJestPress.com
In a move destined to test the limits of both dance floors and medical advice, High Noon announced today a nationwide recall of its vodka seltzer packs that were accidentally labeled as Celsius energy drinks. You read that right—some Americans expecting a healthy burst of “Essential Energy” may have encountered a different kind of buzz entirely.
The mistake was first discovered at a suburban Pilates class in Denver, when several attendees began performing interpretive dance instead of the prescribed downward dog. “I thought Celsius was supposed to give me wings!” said class member Linda Freemont, who later realized she was quoting the wrong beverage entirely while also trying to recite ABBA lyrics.
According to High Noon spokesperson Jim Tonic, the mix-up occurred in the packaging facility when “a guy named Brad brought in his blender and things got… fuzzy.” The mislabeled packs managed to make their way onto shelves at gyms, yoga studios, and even one day care center, where several employees reported “unexpectedly high morale.”
Celsius issued a statement clarifying, “While our drinks are designed to turn calories into energy, we do not recommend operating heavy machinery—and definitely not electric scooters—after consuming any High Noon products in error.”
The recall requires customers to return any suspiciously laid-back energy drinks, preferably before they text their ex or sign up for Zumba. Meanwhile, High Noon is offering free seltzer to anyone who can prove they didn’t realize they were sipping vodka until their third Zoom meeting went off the rails.
“We sincerely apologize for any confusion, hangovers, or accidental karaoke sessions this may have caused,” said Brad, who has since been reassigned to labeling bottled water.
Customers are encouraged to check their fridges and ask themselves: “Did this Celsius make me feel empowered, or did I just order Taco Bell at 9:30am?”
By: TheJestPress.com
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