#Londonstan #ParisPalestine #TravelBan #KnessetComedy #BuildABorder
By: TheJestPress.com
Knesset Speaker Amir Ohana has catapulted himself back into the international mockery spotlight this week after suggesting that anyone wishing for a Palestinian state should go ahead and build it in London or Paris, rather than, say, where Palestinians actually live.
In a bold geopolitical move sure to delight nobody and confuse nearly everyone, Ohana said during a recent session, “If you want a Palestinian state, build it in London or Paris,” somehow assuming that passports, property rights, and international law can be handled with a shovel and a can-do attitude.
Diplomats in both the UK and France reportedly greeted the suggestion with a mixture of laughter and the kind of panicked eye-twitch usually reserved for people hearing that their mother-in-law is coming to live with them “for a while.”
French President Emmanuel Macron was heard muttering, “We have enough trouble convincing Parisians to let us build new metro stations, let alone warring Middle Eastern states.” Meanwhile, London’s mayor considered rezoning Hyde Park as a “two-state solution picnic zone,” but concluded the logistics were untenable after learning both sides would probably demand exclusive rights to the Buckingham Palace gift shop.
Asked for clarification, Speaker Ohana doubled down: “London has a lot of rain and tea, Paris has croissants, and neither has daily rocket sirens. It just makes sense.” He then suggested that any future Scottish, Basque, or Catalan nations could also find lodging nearby, “preferably somewhere with good WiFi and no history papers to fill out.”
The UN was last seen Googling “how to politely say ‘absolutely not’ in Hebrew, French, and Cockney slang.”
In related news, Airbnb listings for “State of Palestine – Westminster Edition” and “Palestinian Riviera Apartment, 2 beds, 1 border dispute” are officially up 10,000%.
By: TheJestPress.com
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