#LoveWins #SaintLucia #CourtNews #Satire #Equality
By: TheJestPress.com
**BREAKING: Saint Lucia Accidentally Becomes Fabulous—Court Strikes Down Gay Sex Ban, Rainbow Confetti Supply Skyrockets**
In a shocking turn of events, the island nation of Saint Lucia awoke to a new dawn of legal equality—and sorely unprepared for the impending glitter shortage—after the country’s top court struck down its colonial-era ban on gay sex this week.
Islanders, who were still recovering from the time the Prime Minister wore two different shoes to budget discussions, were reportedly bemused by the news. “We thought the loudest controversy of the week was going to be over mango prices, but I guess love is more expensive after all,” commented a local vendor, nervously rearranging pineapples into a vaguely rainbow formation.
Religious groups immediately issued strongly worded statements, mostly expressing concern about the island’s ability to host parades without running out of feathers. Meanwhile, Saint Lucia’s tourism board has updated its official tagline to: “Saint Lucia—Now With 100% More Consent!”
The ruling, delivered by a judge wearing an impressively neutral black robe and possibly sparkly socks, declared, “It is no longer illegal to discover your true self in the privacy of your own—consensual—bedroom. And frankly, we have better things to prosecute, like people who put ketchup on their saltfish.”
In response, local police officers are reportedly undergoing specialized training to spot actual crimes rather than consensual adult activities. “We’re thinking of upping littering patrols or finally addressing that guy who keeps stealing coconuts in broad daylight,” said one officer, who asked to remain anonymous in case his grandmother is reading.
With Saint Lucia joining other forward-thinking jurisdictions, global eyes are on the tiny paradise, awaiting word on which country will be next to realize that love usually wins—and often throws the best parties.
By: TheJestPress.com
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