#HumanitarianAid #GazaNews #DeliveryDisasters #MiddleEastPeace #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
GAZA CITY—In what international watchers are calling “the world’s worst game of Red Light, Green Light,” at least 30 Palestinians were tragically killed by Israeli fire while awaiting humanitarian aid, according to Gaza’s civil defence ministry. While Israeli officials insist the incident was “an unfortunate misunderstanding and not a new delivery method,” critics claim that “shoot first, ask questions later” has become an unlisted Prime benefit for residents of the blockaded enclave.
Eyewitnesses described the scene: hopeful aid-seekers gathered solemnly in the daylight, having only received three misfired WhatsApp notifications that “your package will arrive between 10:00 a.m. and World Peace.” Instead of bread and medicine, they were met with projectiles—ironically giving new meaning to the phrase “dropped aid.”
“We were just standing in line, minding our business,” said one survivor, “next thing you know, it’s more like Squid Game than tent city.” When asked how often this happens, he only shrugged, “I’ve seen better odds in Gaza’s power lottery.”
Israel’s military released a statement expressing regret for the loss of life, assuring international observers that “we take humanitarian incidents seriously, and have set up a review committee that will thoroughly examine the issue sometime before the next season of *Fauda*.”
Meanwhile, the United Nations is considering adding “Kevlar vests” to all humanitarian aid packages sent to Gaza, in what they termed “a robust approach to supply chain safety.” A UN spokesperson clarified, “Until drones start dropping bread with the precision of sponsored Instagram ads, we recommend all civilians practice the duck-and-cover method while receiving basic nutrition.”
In other news, Amazon Prime has received requests from Gazans to expand their same-day delivery service, as “it couldn’t possibly get any worse” according to local experts.
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment