#TrumpTariff #InternationalRelations #PeaceDealProblems #SatireNews #TheJestPress
By: TheJestPress.com
In a move that no one—except maybe him—saw coming, former President Donald Trump announced a 19% tariff on all goods from Thailand and Cambodia, just hours after the two Southeast Asian nations signed a historic peace treaty ending centuries of mild awkwardness and competitive street food festivals.
“Look, I hear they made peace—beautiful peace, some of the best peace you’ve ever seen. But now everyone’s going to want to eat Pad Thai and whatever it is Cambodia makes,” Trump announced from his unofficial press podium, which doubles as his Mar-a-Lago beach snack bar. “And frankly, that floods the American market with…well, peace I guess, and delicious flavors. Not good for America, folks. Not good. We want conflict with a side of fries, not peace with extra rice noodles.”
While diplomats toasted the end of sticky diplomatic relations in Phnom Penh with coconut water and durian smoothies, Trump declared that “the new age of peace constitutes unfair competition,” and tweeted an executive order written on a napkin found under last week’s golf scorecard. “If you’re gonna have peace, you gotta pay. That’s the deal.”
Aides attempted to explain that the United States does not actually import much from Cambodia, unless you’re counting “rare endangered statues that somehow always end up in New York,” but Trump was undeterred. “I stopped wars, now I’m stopping peace. No one does it like me!”
As stock markets remained entirely unaffected and Thai restaurants offered a polite 20% discount “in honor of President Trump’s logic,” economists everywhere wondered aloud, “Is 19% just the number of times he heard the word ‘peace’ today?”
In a related note, Popeye’s is considering adding “Trump Tariff Tenders,” lightly fried and served with confusion sauce.
By: TheJestPress.com
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