#EmmaWatson #HarryPotter #ExpelliarmusLicense #MuggleProblems #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
In breaking news from the Ministry of Transportation (a wholly unmagical institution), “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson has had her driving license banished for six months. Watson, widely known for her role as Hermione Granger—a character who was previously respected for making life-saving manoeuvres in flying cars—was found guilty of speeding in a manner “unbecoming of a Muggle.”
Officials report Watson was seen zooming down the M25 in a Mini Cooper, allegedly shouting “ACCIO GREEN LIGHT!” at every traffic signal. Passengers in other vehicles claim she performed wand-like gestures at speed cameras, possibly believing a well-placed “Obliviate” could erase her speeding points. Unfortunately, modern cameras are apparently immune to memory charms and continue to email photos with the tenacity of an owl delivering Hogwarts acceptance letters.
When interviewed, one officer reflected, “Honestly, we’d have turned a blind eye if she’d been riding a broom. But we simply can’t let the ‘Wingardium Leviosa’ of traffic rules slide.” Another witness said, “She’s brilliant at dodging trolls and Basilisks, but speed bumps? Not so much.”
Emma herself has responded with classic Hermione composure, telling fans, “I just wanted to get to Potions class on time. But, as Professor McGonagall always said, ‘Transfiguration cannot make you early if you’re late.’ Lesson learned!”
For the next six months, Watson will need to rely on more conventional transportation—rumors swirl that Dobby has offered his sock-powered skateboard, while Ron Weasley is said to be searching for his dad’s flying Ford Anglia, last seen in the Forbidden Forest.
Experts predict one upside: traffic on London roads may finally return to “pre-Gryffindor” speeds. The Ministry of Magic, however, warns that she may still be spotted on the Knight Bus, so proceed with both caution and curiosity.
By: TheJestPress.com
Leave a comment