#Migrants #RwandaDeal #USPolitics #SatireNews #WorldPolitics
By: TheJestPress.com
**Rwanda Strikes Exclusive US Deal To Accept 250 Migrants, Asks If They Can Also Get Netflix Password**
In a bold and innovative move sure to shake up the global Migration Olympics, Rwanda announced this week that it has agreed to take up to 250 migrants from the United States—roughly the same number of people waiting in line at an average New York bagel shop on Sunday morning.
“We noticed the UK and Israel were sending us their unwanted folks, and thought, ‘Hey, why not America? We hear their migrants have great stories and might even know what gluten-free means,’” explained Rwanda’s Director of Welcoming Other People, Jean Kamanzi.
U.S. officials say the deal is a “creative experiment” to distract from decades of domestic immigration gridlock. “We were going to send thoughts and prayers, but Rwanda asked if we could throw in some actual people this time,” said an unnamed DHS spokesperson hiding behind a badly potted plant.
Rwandan leaders reportedly had two main questions for the Americans: “Do these migrants come with Netflix passwords, and can we swap back later if we get bored?”
The carefully curated batch of migrants—consisting primarily of people who missed their Starbucks orders and some Texans who accidentally crossed into Oklahoma—are expected to arrive wearing ‘I Heart America’ shirts and holding Men’s Health magazines from 2014.
Critics have questioned whether Rwanda is being underpaid for what British tabloids call “the Airbnb of international migration.” A Rwandan official countered, “Between the US, the UK, and Israel, we’ll soon have a full set: all the flags and none of the baggage fees.”
As for long-term integration, Rwanda reassured everyone: “It’ll be fine. Last time we took in British royals for twenty minutes, we survived.”
The Biden administration has not confirmed whether future migrants will be sent to other exotic locales, but rumors of a deal with Wyoming are “still being workshopped.”
By: TheJestPress.com
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