#HomeUpgradeHysteria #ShedLife #SleepoutSquad #GarageGoals #LoosenUpLaws
By: TheJestPress.com
**Government to Finally Loosen Garden Shed, Sleepout, and Garage Rules, Citing “Right to Live Like a Gnome”**
In what’s being heralded as a watershed moment for backyard enthusiasts, amateur carpenters, and people who simply want to escape their in-laws, the government announced today a sweeping relaxation of rules governing garden sheds, sleepouts, and garages. Citing a bold commitment to “let citizens realize their full gnome potential,” the move is expected to trigger a boom in micro-residences, man-cave palaces, and luxury tinfoil hideaways.
Homeowner Gary Hedgefund, standing proudly beside his 3-storey “multi-purpose utility barn” (currently constructed entirely out of polycarbonate roofing and wild optimism), was overjoyed: “This is the best thing since my brother tried converting our dog kennel into a two-bedroom flat. Now we can finally add the fifth bathroom the shed’s always deserved.”
Under the new rules, anyone with a backyard is free to sleep out, bunk up, or run an illicit miniature casino without a permit, provided you promise not to run an actual zoo. Bonafide sleepout specialists see this as an innovation in affordable housing. “At last, I can have a place to hide my midlife crisis, my teenage son, and all those lawn gnomes my wife keeps throwing away,” said sleepout activist Paula Tude.
The government admits there could be growing pains. “We anticipate some minor issues,” said Policy Minister Barb Queue. “Like increased demand for extension cords, or a rise in unsolicited garden karaoke. But really—who hasn’t wanted to eat Pop-Tarts on a futon ten feet from their own house?”
With millions set to become full-time residents of converted garden sheds and garages, experts warn of an impending national shortage of fairy lights and bean bag chairs. Local councils are bracing for a deluge of blueprints titled “Real-life Castle, But Small.”
Sources say a new bill is already in the works to legalize “tiny moat construction” by Christmas.
By: TheJestPress.com
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