#IndiaDroneDrama #UkraineConflict #MadeInIndia #SatireNews #ByTheJestPress
By: TheJestPress.com
In a stunning turn of events that has left arms dealers confused and middle managers at tech firms worldwide weeping into their samosas, Ukrainian investigators have discovered that some components found in Russian drones are apparently “Made in India”. Upon closer inspection, the drone’s GPS module welcomed users with “Namaste”, its starter beep played a Bollywood tune, and the user manual included a recipe for butter chicken.
Indian officials were quick to clarify: “We have no idea how our parts ended up in these drones. Most of our exports to Russia are cricket bats and spicy memes.” Nevertheless, suspicions have been raised over a secret “export-to-everyone” feature hidden deep within Indian supply chain management software.
Russian military spokespeople, never ones to miss a PR opportunity, were seen vigorously denying any knowledge of the Indian electronics. One colonel, trying to reconfigure a drone, accidentally turned on a yoga tutorial. A second aircraft dropped leaflets over the Ukrainian front lines reading: “For best results, reboot your opponent.”
Tech gurus in Mumbai celebrated the discovery on Twitter: “Proud to be a part of global innovation. If our chips can survive both monsoon and Moscow, nothing can stop us!” Indian maternal figures everywhere claimed, “We always knew our boys would go abroad and do big things!”
The United Nations has called an emergency meeting to clarify what “Made in India” actually means, given the globalized nature of supply chains. Early reports suggest Ukraine has responded by fitting their own drones with parts labeled “Designed in Ukraine, Assembled in Satellite Garage.”
At press time, the Russian drone in question appeared to be taking a chai break, recalculating its route, and playing the classic ringtone, “You’ve got mail!” Meanwhile, Indian tech support hotlines have been inundated with calls about “unusual buzzing noises over Eastern Europe.”
Stay tuned as the world’s military-industrial complex continues to be just as well-organized as a wedding buffet line in New Delhi.
By: TheJestPress.com
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