#SaveTheBees #UrbanJungle #HoverflyHeaven #MothMatters #UrbanBuzzkill
**By: TheJestPress.com**
**Urbanization Linked to 43% Drop in Pollinating Insects: Developers Celebrate with Concrete Cake**
In news that’s sure to bug you, a groundbreaking new study has found that the dreamy fields and flowery meadows urban planners keep stuffing under high rises are linked to a whopping 43% drop in pollinating insects. No, that’s not the amount of pollen you’ll find in your $12 oat milk latte—it’s the population crash of bees, moths, and hoverflies who dare flutter too close to civilization.
According to scientists with far more patience than your average city squirrel, relative to bees, nocturnal moths and hoverflies are especially sensitive to urbanization. (Apparently, disco balls, LED billboards, and club music are not conducive to successful pollination, who knew?) While bees might muscle through a heat island or two, hoverflies and moths have been spotted registering for Uber Eats and Tinder Bumble franchise opportunities in rural areas.
In response, major metropolitan areas have introduced “Insect Inclusion Initiatives,” such as widening cracks in the sidewalk to “simulate natural habitat” and designating deserted rooftop bars as only-open-after-dark moth safe zones. Early reviews from the pollinators? “Environment: 0/10, but the free drinks are a plus,” commented one particularly flamboyant sphinx moth.
Developers, meanwhile, gather to share tales of the glory days, when flowerbeds weren’t replaced by Wi-Fi towers and every inch of green space didn’t come with a condo fee. “Honestly, I haven’t seen a hoverfly since my grandma’s azaleas got paved in ’02,” remarked one nostalgic architect, gently misting his ficus with tears.
City officials are calling for more research before taking action, pointing out that “without moths, there’ll be fewer bugs in my closet.” Entomologists warn, however, if this trend continues, “the only thing pollinated in cities will be allergies.”
Rest in pollen, brave insects. We hope the suburbs are treating you better.
**By: TheJestPress.com**
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