#OklahomaHouse #TVAccident #WhoopsieDaisy #PoliticalOops #SatireNews
By: TheJestPress.com
In a shocking turn of events this week, Oklahoma House Speaker Charles “GuessWhatNow?” McDaniels assured reporters that the explicit images which abruptly flashed across Superintendent Ryan Walters’ television set during a live education policy Zoom call were merely the result of a “bizarre accident.”
“Rest assured, folks,” McDaniels said while plugging in his own HDMI cord with visible trepidation. “These images—though undeniably creative and featuring several farm animals—somehow infiltrated Superintendent Walters’ living room via inexplicable technological sorcery, not the internet browsing habits of any person in this administration. To suggest otherwise is both irresponsible and, frankly, rude.”
The Speaker provided a thorough explanation involving a wayward thunderstorm, a bottle of diet Mountain Dew, and “a cat traipsing across the remote just as the wind knocked over Walters’ souvenir lava lamp.” According to technology experts who may or may not exist, this perfect storm could have triggered the smart TV’s “Totally-Not-My-Fault” content feature, designed exclusively for surreptitious emergencies.
Superintendent Walters, for his part, maintains plausible deniability. “I’m deeply disturbed by what appeared on my screen,” Walters insisted, vigorously erasing his search history, “and I have filed an IT support ticket with a local teenager. Frankly, explicit content belongs safely locked away on unregulated YouTube channels, not policymaking television calls.”
House Speaker McDaniels concluded the press conference by warning Oklahomans to “keep their TVs plugged directly into VHS players, as God intended,” and urged constituents to treat all remote controls as loaded weapons.
When asked to comment, the TV simply flickered, sighed, and played three back-to-back Olive Garden commercials, presumably out of a newfound sense of shame.
By: TheJestPress.com
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